Would you like a velvet vagina?

... I should probably confess right at the start of this post, I turn my mobile telephone off at weekends and don’t look at it again until Monday.
So, on Monday, I sat down at my work desk and, while waiting for the ‘puter to warm/start up, turned on the phone. There was a note saying I had a text message and would I like to see it? Well yes, I would, so I pushed the relevant button and up it popped, "Would you like a velvet vagina?"
To say I was a little taken aback would be an understatement. I gasped out loud in the work environment. It took a moment or two, jaw dropped, to register the fact that the message was not from some texting pervert but rather, my little sister.
I should probably mention now that my little sister is, by profession, an independent midwife.
I called her right away, demanding an explanation. She reminded me that about 3 or 4 years ago I sent her this link. The penny dropped.I’d thought it would be right up her alley, all that stuff about midwives and sex educators using vulva puppets to explain anatomy, touch and response, safe sex technique, erogenous zones, and birth. I’d commented at the time about how pretty they were and wasn’t it a pity they were so expensive (about $US400 at the time), because it would be kind of fun to have one.
Well, last weekend my sister was at one of those women’s health conferences and they were being sold there, down to $A35 for a mini. She's thought she’d offer me the opportunity to become the proud owner of a vulva puppet, perhaps for xmas.Although tempted, I declined.

All pics from yoni.com.

Ever had a day like this ?

... you'll need to click on the picture and then sit back and watch it all go to pieces...

Last Monday ...

... Mr Brown had the stitches removed from his eyeball (yes, I know, aaaaarrrrrrkkkkkeeeeeeeky). I took advantage of the location and general "medical" air and had a thing removed from my back. I got a band-aid. When I went to change it the next morning I saw that the doctor had given me a kiddies band-aid, covered in some sort of purple winged hippo doing things like riding a vespa, dancing in a tutu and playing with a ball.
Perhaps he thought it apt because of my youthful attitude.

Last night ...

… it rained and rained and rained. Soft, gentle, good-for-the garden, soaking rain, not the heavy violent kind that ends up flooding the gutters and coming inside! Also, the neighbour’s Jacaranda is in full flower.
So when looked outside into the back garden last night before I saw a carpet of the most beautiful mauve on the ground and on the table.
I've finished reading two excellent Barbara Pym novels, Excellent Women and Quartet in Autumn. They are lovely, gentle quiet novels, beautifully written. The characters aren't always entirely likable but the are completely believable. I've got to read more of these and, after scouring every bookshop I could locate in the CBD (and there are quite a few) over several lunchtimes, and being met with blank stares from daft teenage shop folk, I've had to resort to Amazon. I've ordered five, plus five Elizabeth Taylor's too. Now I have to wait for the package (oh how I hate to wait).
In the meantime I'm reading H P Lovecraft's wonderfully old-fashioned science fiction, The Call of Cthulhu and Other Weird Stories. Brilliant stuff, no real gore or violence, so much of the actual terror is left to your imagination - which is a powerful thing indeed.

Schools of thought ...

... Mr Brown informed me the other day that he was chatting with the fellow who lives at the end of the street and, during the conversation; this fellow ventured an opinion about maintaining marital harmony – “happy wife, happy life”.
Mr Brown apparently said he was more of a follower of the “treat em mean, keep em keen” school of marital relations.
Who does he think he’s kidding???

Books ...

That little Aussie battler, the dollar, is currently worth almost 94 American cents. Look out Amazon.com, HERE I COME!!!
Edited to add: Arrk, I've just ordered 10, the postage alone comes to $50 - oopski.

21 October 2007 ...

... is a Wednesday, so we had pizza - guess what kind if you can. It is also All Hallows Eve, and although the cultural anti-imperialist in me simply hates me for caving, my not wanting to be the "grumpy old lady at the end of the street" (peer pressure for the middle aged) won over and I handed over lollies to the little boys from next door (who said thank you) and the greedy little girl who lives at the end of the street (who snatched and grabbed more than anyone else and did not say thank you). I'll live, the little boys made me laugh and while the front door was open a DOG just walked right on in!!! Ping & Small were suitably horrified, fluffy tails all round.
Oh, and this, I guess it proves he's human after all (bugger it).

Oh, and here's the October WordCloud.

For years ...

... I’ve been spending not inconsiderable sums on stuff to wash my face with, you know remove the slap. Anyhoo, I my tube of stuff ran a few weeks ago and I used some sorbelene. In the interim, I thought. But the stuff works, costs next to nothing and the only difference that I can tell is it doesn’t smell as good as the other stuff. So, basically, I’ve been paying $$$ for years and years, for a nice smell. Pfft.

The zucchinis ...

... are cropping already, so time for some garden soup. All you need is a big fat leek (or ordinary onions) quite a bit of garlic, some lovely dark green zucchini, butter, salt, pepper and chicken stock. Oh, and some old faithful soup bowls with mermaids on (or whatever takes your fancy really). Although the recipe doesn't call for it, I like to add a swirl of cream at the end, because I can.
And I just finished reading Mrs Palfrey at the Claremont - the closer I got to the end the more I dreaded a tragically sad ending. But it didn't happen, well not completely sad anyway.

It's a lovely calm book. Not a lot happens but still it draws you in and makes you care about the characters. In fact, it's the characters that are the book, they are beautifully, painstakingly written. I'm so glad I decided to give this writer a go, although now I'm going to have to go and find all the rest of her lovely books.
I don't think I'll bother seeing the film though, I suspect "they" buggerised about with it.

Oh joy ...

... bebe tomatoes on the vine. I can hardly wait until they are all lovely & red (& perhaps yellow too, I can't exactly remember what we stuck in the ground).

This is ...

... very funny and clever indeed. Go watch, you'll be glad you did.

Afternoon sunshine ...

... of course in a month or two all this afternoon sunshine will mean it's unbearably hot outside and I'll be wilting and sulking and flopping about like a Victorian maiden unable to function at all. Also, I'll be overcome with ennui. Still, at the moment it looks just lovely.
And tonight (or very early tomorrow morning) we have to put the clocks forward an hour, which means an hour less in bed in the morning - buggeration.

And tonight ...

... it rained so hard the gutters overflowed up under the roof and down the dining room wall - Ping alerted us to the disaster, she's worth her weight in puss tins.

A bit of excitement ...

... last night. As I got off the little train there was a big BANG and lots of sparks and fizzing and smoke and then the roof caught fire. A fire engine was called and I heard the driver telling someone on her mobile telephone "I'm not getting back in there, IT'S ON FIRE". We all milled about, chatting and laughing. See, all it takes for middle-class inner west commuters to talk to each other is a tiny disaster.
Wednesday night pizza will have to wait until tonight, I've got to download the photies.
Oohhh, and it RAINED last night, lovely, except it knocked down all the bebe tomato plants.
Edited to add: Pizza was actually Calzone, wee(ish) individual ones because I can. Stuffed with things from jars (sun-dried tommies, artichoke hearts, olives) spicy sausage and cheese. And there was pudding, Queen of Pudding, made by my ma using all the leftover egg whites from the mushroom quiche made the night before - tres frugal housewifery.

More cruelty to politicians ...

... but it's ok, they deserve it, go ahead, smack 'em in the head.

Back to Spring green ...

... and some fun-poking at the politicians.

Don't Forget ...

... to be nice to some breasts today. Your own should you possess a pair or someone else's if you don't! I'm going pink for today, because cynical me just loves jumping on a bandwagon.

Vanity ...

... so about 12-18 months or so ago I noticed a few grey (silver actually) hairs popping up. "Oh well", I thought, "these things happen to us all", and gave it little more thought.
However, in the last few months I've noticed more. There's a good few dozen now and I notice them daily. Mr Brown says he can't see them but (a) he's blind and (b) he's a bloke, so not a reliable witness really.
So the question is, do I start dying my hair to cover them up or just let what happens, happen? If I start dying my hair to cover grey, am I taking the first slip down the slippery slope that leads to microdermabrasion, botox, eye lifts, liposuction, tummy tucks, face lifts, fake tans or those disgusting trout lips?
Or, am I over thinking this and should just pop down to the shops for a bottle of brown stuff?
Bloody hell.

It's exactly like this at our house ...

... when Mr Brown refuses to get up when Pingu thinks he should.

Thanks to Cute overload for the heads up.

Halloween ...

... Halloween is not traditionally celebrated in Australia*. Which is a great pity because I'd just love an excuse to make this costume! Also, I could make this out of a pumpkin.



* It's starting a bit now but I think that's more of an influence of all the American TV & Movies we see down here. The tiny bits I see seem so faux, so forced, that I just can't bring myself to join in. One day though, I'm going to play Halloween in the US, where it's real.