... Kim over at allconsuming posted this about a woman recovering from a terrible injury, a falling off a horse injury.
I was a horsey girl and at the time I knew no fear. If I fell off I'd brush off the dirt and climb back up again. Jumping, or riding my horse as he jumped, was such a thrill, but it wasn't frightening. Bombing around paddocks with no saddle, no hard hat, hell, no bridle, was an every day thing. It made me feel free, powerful and never, ever, frightened.
Fear came long after I no longer had a horse, it came slowly and just sat there in the back of my mind, waiting. As I grew older, it grew stronger. I'm now quite fearful, which pisses me off, but is well beyond my control.
And now, even though we are in a position where I could once again own my own horse, I won't. That time has past.
O for the fearlessness of youth, and O how glad I am I walked out of that fearless youth on my own two feet.
Sunday, May 2
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3 comments:
I was the same kind of easy rider as you when young, although perhaps not as good as you were. I did own my own horse at roughly your age and I loved her but I have no desire to ride any longer, not so much from physical fear as from fear that it won't be as much fun as with my Mira. I still love being around horses, however, and love caring for them and even getting filthy doing so. Amazing animals, they are, and so sweet (mostly).
oomie, I love the smell of them, warm, sweaty and earthy. And the feel of them, like velvet over muscle. And they are sweet beasts, mostly, trusting and loyal and friendly, but the thought of falling and never walking again, too much for me I'm afraid.
What little riding I have done, I absolutely loved.
Despite photos of me as a beaming baby, I began life with shyness and fear.
I pushed up and out becoming far more fearless and more courageous.
A bad decision and a few bad breaks set me back to feeling like fear was my constant companion.
After lots of hard work, I'm back to a healthier balance, loving every single moment when I feel at ease in the world.
Thank you for the links.
Reading Melanie Reid's story, made me focus more on all that I have to be grateful for and less on the annoyances that have been rankling me.
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