... I broke up with a young man because he insisted on opening doors for me, even after I asked him not to.
He insisted it was good manners to open doors for "ladies".
I insisted it was bad manners to keep doing something once you were asked to stop.
He would not stop, we argued, he told me to grow a pair of balls as he believed they would suit me. I said that was IT and walked away. I refused to accept his apology the next day and that was that. (I should note here that I didn't accept his apology not because my feelings were hurt, I just didn't want to go out with him and accepting it would mean finding some other reason to break it up, too hard). Perhaps I was a little harsh, but I was also a little young and it really did bother me that he wouldn't stop after I asked him too.
Thing of it is, about 5-6 years later we happened to work in the same office for a bit. I figured who'd still be bitter? Given he refused to speak to me at all, for weeks, I had to conclude he was holding a bit of a grudge.
Of course nowadays I don't object to a bit of door holding, but then again I do quite a bit of door holding myself.
Friday, February 15
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4 comments:
When I was young I myself was not a huge fan of the door opening. Later on I decided to lighten up, and just say thanks. Now, as I'm older and less militant, I love it when men (or women) open doors for me, carry stuff, or generally help me out. Why not? After all, it turns out I can't do everything myself, and neither do I want to.
Now as far as he's concerned: way to hold a grudge, dude!
Yeah, I too have mellowed from my militant grumpy femo youngness. What particularly bothered me about this bloke was he wouldn’t open doors for blokes, just women, and always made a bit show of it, with a little flourish as it were. I’d not have minded so much if he hadn’t made such a big deal of it (and only for women). I’ve always held the door open for the next person, male or female, and opened doors for those unable to do so (no arms, carrying boxes etc) male or female. THAT is good manners (I believe). He also held opposite views to me in things like abortion and religion (and, at 21 wore jeans with brogues), so there was no future in it. I was looking for an excuse to stop seeing him and he handed me one on a platter.
Oh, and as for grudge holding, get this, years later he let a door slam shut in my MUM’s face! Clearly he was not a gentleman!
Why did it think of this 20 years on? I’m guessing it was Valentines day, and I had the thought that had we stuck together for a bit he was JUST the type of person to make a flowery/gifty fuss - blerg.
What's wrong with guys who wear jeans with brogues?
UK - well - it's a bit middle aged really - fine when middle aged but not so much in a young man - it's an indication of old before time-ness I guess.
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