An odd sort of meme ...

... via H&B.
What kind of soap is in your bathtub?
We don’t have a bath.
Do you have any watermelon in your refrigerator?
No, everybody knows watermelons turn into vampires, particularly at this time of year.
What would you change about your living room?
Fresh paint job (hint, hint Mr Brown).
Are the dishes in your dishwasher clean or dirty?
We don’t have a dishwasher, just a dishwashing fairy, who’s been this morning. What is in your refrigerator?
Fresh veg, butter, king island vanilla yogurt, fruit, jars of stuff (jam, mayo, curry pastes, pesto …) bottles of stuff (pink lemonade, tap water, milk, lemon juice, white wine), stuff like that.
White or wheat bread?
Sonoma Bakery olive bread – on top of the fridge, not in it. Sliced whole meal, whole grain Helgas, in the freezer.
What is on top of your refrigerator?
My lunch bag, the bread, dust.
What color or design is on your shower curtain?
We don’t have a shower curtain, it’s a plain glass screen.
How many plants are in your home?
Inside, none, the cats eat them or dig them.
Is your bed made right now?
No.
Comet or Soft Scrub?
I don't use either, nor have I any idea what they are.
Is your closet organized?
Sort of, I like to hang the shirts by colour, things go back in the same spot, mostly.
Do you drink out of glass or plastic most of the time at home?
Glass.
Do you have iced tea made in a pitcher right now?
No.
If you have a garage, is it cluttered?
Hahahahahaha, no garage.
Curtains or blinds?
Curtains in the lounge, roman blinds in the other rooms. I ripped out all the Luxaflex-style blinds upon moving in, they gather dust and are a HUGE pain to clean.
How many pillows do you sleep with?
Three, I nest.
Do you sleep with any lights on at night?
No, but we leave the blind up a wee bit for air to come in and moonlight sometimes follows.
How often do you vacuum?Mr Brown takes the vacuum for a burl about once a week.
Standard toothbrush or electric?
Standard.
What color is your toothbrush?
Red, colgate brand.
Do you have a welcome mat on your front porch?
We have a mat to wipe feet on, it does not say welcome.
What is in your oven right now?
Bugger all.
Is there anything under your bed?
Dust, cat hair.
Chore you hate doing the most?
All of them, but cleaning the bathroom probably tops the list.
What retro items are in your home?
The house is 105, it’s retro.
Do you have a separate room that you use as an office?
Yes, we call it the shit room.
How many mirrors are in your home?
Do mirror walls count? The last owners put in a big mirror in the kitchen (to make it look bigger one assumes) and a whole wall in the bathroom is mirror (for the same reason I suspect), and there’s a wee one above the fireplace.
What color are your walls?
Blue, green, bright yellow, pale yellow, a sort of minty aqua green & white.
Do you keep any kind of protection weapons in your home?
Knives in the kitchen, golf clubs in the shit room, killer cats …
What does your home smell like right now?
Rain.
Favorite candle scent?
L’Occoitane Lavender & Amber.
What kind of pickles (if any) are in your refrigerator right now?
Capers.
What color is your favorite Bible?
We don’t have a bible. Oh, no wait, there’s a little red Gideons one I got at school, I wouldn't call it a favourite though.
Ever been on your roof?
This roof, no. Last house, yep.
Do you have a stereo?
We have a CD player.
How many TVs do you have?
One.
How many house phones?
Three.
Do you have a housekeeper?
No, sigh.
What style do you decorate in?
Dusty? Paper/Book/Magazine strewn?
Do you like solid colors in furniture or prints?
Solid.
Is there a smoke detector in your house?
Yes, it’s the law.
In case of fire, what are the items in your house which you'd grab if you could make only one trip?
Cats, handbag, any pictures I could grab and carry, Mr Brown would surely be able to leg it himself.
I have no idea what this tells anyone about me, other than I'm not a spectacular housewife.