Saturday, April 1

I HATE Coles ...

Mr Brown & I have just returned from the weekly forage at the local Coles supermarket and I am incandescent with rage.
When we first moved to this area (Sydney's inner west) we LOVED Coles, it was the best supermarket we had ever shopped at - so much variety & always enough of what we wanted on the shelves. Well, 5 years on NO MORE.
Since about xmas Coles has been renovating, creating a "bigger and better store" for its customers. BULLSHIT I say - what's really been happening is Coles has slowly been removing all the choice and variety from the shelves and replacing it with its own brand(s). Did they think we would not notice?
We've not been able to buy Schwepps Tonic Water for about a month now, sometimes we can't even get the Kirks brand (which we get with sighs and huffs if there's nothing else available). We couldn't get Bunderberg Ginger Beer again today, on the rare occasion we do spot some on the shelves we stock up big time as we are never sure when next it will be on the shelves (they always have that diet crap though, nobody wants to buy that, it just stays there gathering dust). Same goes for the laundry rinse stuff we lkike to use because, more often than not, it's just not on the shelves.

But what had me lose my temper today (to the point I said FUCK THIS FOR A LARK out loud in the aisle) was Coles won't sell me a packt of Wettex anymore. There are other brands but they are not what I want. I've tried a few and they just aren't as good as a Wettex spongy thing. Besides, I don't want Mr Coles Corporate Bastardpants dictating to me what kind of wiper-upper I use in the kitchen & bathroom. Where, oh where, can I buy a Wettex???

No good saying go somewhere else, there isn't really anywhere else. Woolies is just as crappy nowadays and the other supermarket chains are basically cheap and nasty and never sold Wettex in the first place.

Mr Brown and I have noticed, pretty much since xmas, that we are buying fewer and fewer supermarket items. I suppose this is a good thing really but it pisses me off. It's not as if we don't want to spend money, we have money, we want to buy stuff BUT (and here's the kicker Mr Coles Corporate Bastardpants) we want to buy stuff that WE WANT, not what Mr Coles Corporate Bastardpands wants us to buy! So please, sell it to us - or can someone tell me where there's a viable alternative for supermarket foraging?? Please?

And what the hell, while I'm in the ranting mood - why amongst the 25 different kinds of flavoured tuna can I not find a single tin of PLAIN unfucked-around-with tuna? And why can't we buy the brand of ginger beer we like or the brand of tonic water we like but there's a WHOLE AISLE of that coke crap in all its revolting varieties? I don't want to drink coke and if I can't buy the sugary fizzy drink of my choice then I'll drink WATER from a tap (none of that bottled H2O from your vile supermarket you evil bastards)! I will not bend like the grass in the wind on this issue!

Image thanks to ...


caw said...

Jesus H Christo, that is one god-all spleen vent. You poor thing. Supermarkets are all about aisle real estate and not customer satisfaction anymore (were they ever?).

Producers pay a shit load of moola to have items sold in Coles or Woolies or Wherever. Then they pay a shit load of money on top of that for their Crap to be displayed at eye level over someone else's Crap. Ugh.

I used to hate it when I'd go to Woolies and get used to knowing where my favourite things were & then they'd move them - just to make me walk around looking for my fave things(SPEWING) in the vain hope that I might get sidetracked (WHICH NEVER HAPPENED) and buy something I didn't need from an aisle I didn't expect to have to walk down in the first place (BARSTARDS).

In Cremorne, I used to pay 3 times the supermarket price to shop locally. That was my pennance and I didn't really mind because I was paid far too much money anyway & could afford ridiculously priced frivolous items, like milk.

We shop at Trader Joe's here. It's inconsistently priced (it's run by hippies) & their selection is way limited but at least I know that what I'm buying helps a coffee farmer somewhere.

The big stores are the opposite. The choice is way vast, but it's all shit and they never have what I want. Just imitations of it.

Today I saw:

CHEESE - no fat. no cholestoral. lactose free. low carb. It was brighht orange, sliced up in a packet.

What's with that. I'd rather eat a rock.

Ms Brown Mouse said...

Yers I did vent the old spleen - I really was very cross. I know all about the aisle real estate thing - had a chat about it with a women in Coles yesterday as it happens - we were both put out that something we always used to be able to buy was no longer on the shelves. I did look at all the shelves, not just the eye-level ones, that's how I found my laundry rinse a few weeks ago (and bought 3 bottles in case it's never there again), right on the top shelf.

Kimmi g said...

I agree with everything you have said. It all started when my favourite cherry tomatoes (flavourite) disappeared... I wrote to Flavourite to ask them what happened and they said their products IS still stocked by Coles, but that they now package them in their own Coles packaging, and if I want to still eat their tomatoes I'm supposed to look for some printed serial number on the package that identifies the actual producer. Are you kidding me ? Coles trying to
prtend they created this prosit and don't give proper credit to the farmers and producers that actually grow the product. Additionally the woman who works at the fronnt desk of Coles Surry Hills is the most bitter, spiteful and unhlpful person I have ever had the extreme displeasure of having to deal with. I asked her for name so I could write a letter of complaint about her abhorrance for providing good customer service, but she ran around the corner, covering her name badge with her hand. If she thinks she is doing a good job then why the need to hide her name. You're dealing with the public and you should be held accounable. I will do whatever I can to not shop at Coles ever again, and will pass this experience to all my friends and family.

Anonymous said...

I really had to laugh when I found out what Fosters did to them.
Hopefully this is just the beginning.

Unknown said...

I was led to believe that supermarkets were about value and variety ... not so any more. Increasingly the favoured brand is on the top shelf, out of reach, or simply not there. Prominently displayed is the COLES brand - which I refuse to buy. To add insult to injury, more and more Coles-branded products look exactly like that other other brand that you are looking for ... so you nearly end up buying the Coles brand by mistake! How stupid do they think I am ??? I have no choice but to shop at Coles, but I will not buy $2 milk or homebrand products and I do all I can to avoid being tricked into buying them. It all just makes for a much more time-consuming and irritating experience.